Every week, the Divine Nest focuses on a different topic relating to foster care
and navigating the complexities and challenges foster parents may encounter. This week we discussed expectations and why they can make us feel like a failure. Expectations are one of the key areas that can determine whether or not we are successful as a foster parent.
Expectations are beliefs about what we think will happen or what someone will achieve. In foster care, we have expectations of the kids placed in our home, case outcomes, feelings between us and the kids, and the support we will receive. But what happens when fostering doesn't meet our expectations? We might feel like we've failed the child or the system, leading to self-doubt and disappointment.
Planning the Journey
Understanding and managing your expectations is key. Ask yourself: What expectations do you have? How did it make you feel when you didn’t meet an expectation? What strategies can you use to navigate this issue?
Consider your expectations, re-evaluate them, and modify them as necessary. It's important to remember that it's okay to adjust your expectations based on your experiences and the realities of foster care. I think most of us will find that our core expectations are rooted in what was expected of us while we're going up. That can create challenges because when we face stress in this area we tend to revery back to those verses what the child in your home may need. Also, if you do modify your expectations for a child it will appear to others that you're failing when in fact you are not. You have to be okay with that.
Remember, you're not alone in your journey. We're here to support each other every step of the way. Don’t forget that our support group meets every Thursday from 6 pm to 7:30 pm at Northroad Church, located at 49 College Campus Dr., Moscow Mills 63362. The current cycle runs from January 11 to February 29. In addition to providing a platform for open discussion, we also offer dinner and childcare.